There is a growing concern among many parents, grandparents, church leaders and older Christians about the generation growing up today.

We see young people spending hours on their phones. We see influencers presenting expensive cars, perfect bodies, fashionable lifestyles and promises of quick success. We hear conspiracy theories spreading through social media. We see the damage caused by drugs, gambling and other addictions. And we see the pressure to become rich, famous or successful as quickly as possible.

It is understandable that an older generation looks at all this and asks: “What is happening to our young people?”

But before we answer that question, perhaps we should ask another one: “Do we really understand the world they are growing up in?”

Their world is not the world we grew up in

For many older people, childhood and adolescence were shaped mainly by family, school, neighbourhood, church, radio, newspapers and perhaps television. The number of voices competing for our attention was limited. Even when we heard something strange, we usually had time to think about it and talk about it with people we knew.

Today, a young person can wake up, pick up a smartphone and within minutes hear the opinions of hundreds of people from all over the world. Someone tells them how to become rich. Someone else tells them that everything the government or the media says is a lie. Another tells them what their body should look like. Another presents a “perfect” relationship. Another suggests that if they are 22 and do not own a car, a house or a successful business, they are already falling behind.

And all of this can happen before breakfast.

The problem is not that young people are weaker than we were. The environment around them is simply more intense, more persuasive and more difficult to switch off.

The phone is not just a telephone

For a young person, the smartphone is often a television, radio, newspaper, classroom, shopping centre, entertainment system, bank, camera and meeting place all in one. It is where they find information, friendship, approval and sometimes even their sense of identity.

That means simply saying, “Put that phone away,” will not solve the deeper problem. We need to help young people understand what is happening on the screen.

Influencers do not always show ordinary life. Their income may depend on attention, sponsorship, product sales and keeping people watching. What appears to be spontaneous can be staged. What looks like wealth may be borrowed, sponsored or temporary. What looks like confidence may hide anxiety and loneliness.

One of the most important lessons we can teach a young person today is simple: not everything you see is real, and not everything that is popular is true.

Do not only tell them what not to do

Christians can fall into a familiar trap. We become very good at warning young people.

“Do not take drugs. Do not drink too much. Do not gamble. Do not sleep around. Do not watch this. Do not listen to that. Do not follow those people.”

Of course, boundaries matter. Some choices destroy lives, and love does not mean pretending otherwise. But Christianity is much bigger than a list of prohibitions.

Young people also need to know what they can live for. They need purpose, hope, friendship, meaningful work, opportunities to serve, and a reason to believe that their life matters. They need to discover that God created them for more than collecting money, followers and likes.

Jesus did not merely point out what was wrong with people. He invited them to follow Him into a different way of living.

Listen before you correct

One of the most important things an older Christian can do is also one of the simplest: listen.

Not every conversation has to become a sermon. If your son, daughter, grandchild, colleague or young church member tells you something you disagree with, try first to understand why they believe it. Ask where they heard it. Ask what attracts them to a certain influencer. Ask what worries them about the future. Ask what they think success means.

You may discover that behind a strange opinion is fear. Behind an obsession with money may be insecurity. Behind constant social-media use may be loneliness. Behind anger may be disappointment. Behind drug use may be pain, pressure or the desire to belong.

If we only correct the behaviour, we may never discover what is happening underneath it.

Young people need examples more than lectures

We cannot tell young people that money is not everything while making money the centre of our own lives. We cannot tell them to be honest while they watch adults cheat, bribe or manipulate. We cannot tell them to value marriage and family while they see adults treating relationships carelessly. We cannot tell them that following Jesus matters if Christianity appears in our lives only on Sunday morning.

Young people notice contradictions quickly. They may not always listen to what we say, but they watch how we live.

One of the strongest gifts an older generation can give is the example of a life that says: “I do not have everything, but I have peace. I made mistakes, but I learned from them. I worked hard, but money never became my god. I went through difficult times, but God remained faithful.”

That kind of testimony has weight because it has been lived.

Give them real responsibility

Sometimes we complain that young people are irresponsible while giving them very little responsibility.

Give them something real to do. Let them organise an event. Let them make a decision. Let them manage a small budget. Let them lead a project. Let them solve a problem. And, within safe limits, allow them to fail sometimes.

Responsibility is learned by carrying responsibility. Churches, companies, families and community organisations should not only organise programmes for young people. We should create things with young people.

Talk honestly about money and success

One of the strongest messages young people receive today is that being rich means being successful. We should challenge that idea, but we also need to talk realistically about money.

Teach saving. Teach budgeting. Teach patience. Teach entrepreneurship. Teach the dignity of work. Teach the difference between building something slowly and chasing a scheme that promises wealth by next week.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to succeed. The danger begins when money becomes the measure of a person’s value.

Jesus asked a question that speaks directly into our age: what good is it to gain the whole world and lose your soul? (Mark 8:36). You can have followers and still be lonely. You can have money and still have no peace. You can look successful online and be completely lost inside.

Do not make Christianity look miserable

Young people should not get the impression that following Jesus means giving up everything joyful or interesting in life.

Christian faith should produce joy, friendship, creativity, music, laughter, compassion, adventure, service, purpose and hope. Jesus spoke about life in all its fullness. If young people see only angry Christians complaining about the world, we should not be surprised when Christianity looks unattractive to them.

They need to meet Christians who enjoy life, face reality, admit mistakes, ask good questions and still know where their identity comes from.

The new generation is not lost

It is easy to become pessimistic, especially when the most disturbing stories are the ones that receive the most attention. But every generation has had its dangers, temptations and blind spots.

The younger generation also has tremendous strengths. They are creative. They understand technology. They communicate across cultures. They ask difficult questions. They can learn incredibly quickly. Many care deeply about justice, authenticity and making a difference.

Our responsibility is not to condemn them. It is to guide them-and to be humble enough to learn from them as well.

The Bible describes one generation telling another about the works of God (Psalm 145:4). That picture is not of one generation shouting at another. It is a relationship: experience passing on wisdom, while youth brings energy, imagination and new possibilities.

Start with one young person

Instead of asking, “What is wrong with young people today?” perhaps we should ask, “What can I do to help one young person find direction?”

Have a conversation. Listen without immediately correcting. Share your own mistakes. Explain what you learned. Give someone an opportunity. Encourage a dream. Teach something practical. Pray with them. Invite them to serve alongside you.

And above all, show through your own life that there is something greater than money, fame, followers and popularity.

There is purpose. There is truth. There is hope. And there is a God who knows them by name.