Is It Good To Intervene Between Fighting Couples?

By Prisca Aroko.

No man is an island and as people live together there are bound to be areas where people disagree.

Recently, a listener was narrating how her neighbor was having an argument with her husband that turned physical and so she decided to head to their house to intervene only for the couple to turn against her.

So should one mind their own business regardless of people who are fighting and are in need of a mediator?

On Family Radio’s Tuesday morning show Jam 316, the host James Okumu was having this discussion and this conversation divided people on different sides.

Juliet Wanjiku on Facebook said, “I have seen incidents where I watched/ heard and I intervened because the children were also screaming…I would definitely do it again and again. I may not have known what they were fighting for but in front of the children…Noooo way. The moment we start hearing you fight then it becomes a public affair. I will not condone people fighting near me they better fight where I can’t see or hear.”

Another listener, Josse Cherorot Chelule added his by saying,” Yes I did and I almost got killed! I dived onto a man with a knife at 1am. Talked to them for an hour then took the man to sleep with me to avoid the worst from happening! The wife and the sister ganged up to fight the guy but thank God at least I saved the day.”

But not everyone was pro saving a couple that has turned physical. On the streets on Nairobi, one Yvonne Mona said, she will never intervene to help a fighting couple adding that you may save a situation on one day and the next day, one of them may decide to start fighting again and injure the other.

Lisa Mwaniki also said that people need to mind their own business because chances are you never know the reason a couple is fighting, for you may be part of the reason that makes them fight each and every night.

“Everyone in a relationship argues,” Debbie Mandel, author of Addicted to Stress, says. “However, how loudly you scream or how frequently you fight does not predict the outcome of your marriage.”

Here is a list of some of the things you can do to help a fighting couple.

  1. Never take sides.

Regardless of who you know or prefer between a fighting couple, never take sides with either of them and instead choose a neutral position.

  1. Respond warmly.

Many a times people are hurt, angry, disappointed and in rage, therefore they are also bound to respond to help with backlash. However try calming them down and respond warmly even to the insults that may be hurled your way.