Dealing with Loss

Grieving can be the most difficult time for people. Trying to balance the feelings of pain and loss while going forward with your everyday life.

You were a bit skeptical about love because of a few failed relationships or maybe your own parents’ marriage was nothing to write home about. So this is something that you kept pushing at the back of your mind.

Then one day you meet this person and he upsets your whole philosophy of life and love and you decide to throw caution to the wind. You start dating and before you know it, he is down on bended knee asking you to marry him! You become the envy in your girlfriends. Very soon the wedding bells are ringing. The wedding goes on better than your dreams and you are set of a life ever after with your sweetheart. Two years and one baby later, your spouse dies without warning and you whole world comes to a crashing halt!

Psalm 34:18 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

There are no easy answers when it comes to losing a spouse and this entire week we will be taking a closer look at the hard reality of loss because this is an inevitable eventuality for all of us.

If you have lost a spouse and it is important and okay for you to take time and mourn your loved one. Mourning is a necessary part of healing and growth and there is no formular as to how ‘process’ your grief. Don’t allow anyone to talk you out of crying if you feel like it.

Secondly, it is okay to talk about how you are feeling, state it out loud to someone close to you who won’t judge you but rather understand you. This is tricky because many of us can fake it around you and turn around and stab you in the back. I will pray for you who has lost a spouse that the Lord will send you someone you can talk to.

Thirdly, talk to God, because God has said that he is close to you who is hurting. He is the only one who truly understands your pain and your emotional distance. It is only God who can heal you, time doesn’t heal….it is God within the circumference of your time who will heal you.

If you know of someone, a relative or a friend who has lost a spouse, please do not go to them with the ‘I know it all’ attitude of what they should and should not do.
How about you give them the gift of your presence and just be there. Silence can be a powerful ministry in such moments.